Spring
is a season of both goodbyes and new beginnings.
In March,
the psychiatrist who had been taking care of me
was transferred to a different hospital.
And now, in April—
starting today—
I have a new doctor.
Maybe that’s why I felt so unsettled in March.
Not knowing
who my new doctor would be—
that alone
may have been a heavy burden on my heart.
To be honest,
it’s been a long and winding road.
I first developed a mental illness
when I was a teenager.
Back then,
when I went to see a psychiatrist for the first time,
the doctor,
despite being in a position to help,
only offered cold and thoughtless words.
That was the kind of doctors I encountered
in that era.
And then...
And then...
A lot has happened since.
And today.
While sitting in the waiting room
of the university hospital,
I happened to see the nameplate of the doctor
who would be in charge of me from now on.
And in that moment,
I thought— "Ah!"
She had the exact same name,
same kanji,
same pronunciation
as one of my favorite musicians,
Kaho Nakamura.
She was a woman,
young,
with glasses,
and short hair—
just like her.
Back when I had lost all hope
and felt like I couldn’t go on,
I was deeply comforted and uplifted
by Kaho Nakamura’s music.
And now,
this new doctor resembled her—
in some gentle, kind way.
It felt like serendipity.
Like fate.
It reminded me
just how mysterious and unexpected
life’s encounters can be.
Of course,
we’re only just starting this relationship,
and I don’t yet know
what kind of treatment plan she has,
or how she will approach things.
Maybe
this could be the turning point
that helps me heal.
Or maybe
we might not get along at all.
But even so—
today,
I felt like a bit of sunshine
had found its way into my heart.
Actually—
I recently worked up the courage
to apply to Awin, a major affiliate platform,
hoping to get my blog approved.
But I was rejected.
I also reached out via Instagram
to ask about joining a fortune-telling event—
sent a very brave DM—
but was ignored.
(˘･_･˘)
It’s been hard. Truly.
Here in my rural hometown,
there aren't many jobs I can do.
I’m middle-aged now,
and sometimes I wonder
if it’s only tragedy ahead.
But today,
even though two bad things happened,
one good thing also came my way.
The new doctor—
she was unlike any I’ve ever met.
Like Kaho Nakamura.
She gave me a little hope.
And maybe that’s enough.
Maybe just that is enough.
If I can find
just one good thing
in a day,
and live with gratitude—
that’s all I can do.
""（´∀｀）""
So,
to my new doctor—
please take good care of me!
Wishing you all strength and good health.
Let’s all try to stay well—together.
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