Hello from me,
currently enduring the pain of osteoarthritis in my knee.
I’m grateful to my body for holding on all these years—
yet at the same time, I wish it would move just a little more smoothly.
So much has happened, I don’t even know where to begin.
It feels like a swirl of colorful jelly beads—
some bright, some dark,
some even devilish—
all mixed together.
Amidst this chaos, I try to find balance,
listening to Dua Lipa’s music videos,
letting them carry me away from reality for a while.
Starting in October,
I’ll begin a new job—only for three months,
but a job nonetheless.
To my surprise, it’s a very formal and structured one:
I’ve been hired locally by a payroll company based in Tokyo,
joining their data entry team.
In Japan, there is a system where taxes withheld from salaries are later adjusted,
and any excess is refunded.
This year-end adjustment—nenmatsu chousei—
will be the focus of my work.
For years, I’ve poured my energy into writing,
and into small personal ventures like fortune-telling markets.
But now,
I’ll step into a pure world of numbers.
Only for three months.
(´Д｀)💦
To prepare, I’ve signed up for a free one-month trial
at a co-working space until October.
I bought a backpack big enough to fit my 16-inch laptop.
I’m studying fortune-telling,
and also planning to sell my camera on a flea market site—
practicing my sales writing as I go.
Do you see it?
I really am trying.
I’m living as hard as I can.
But at times, it feels too impulsive,
too all over the place.
I wonder if I’m just chasing every trend,
with no consistency,
making myself nothing but a fool.
And then, of course, I sink into discouragement.
I think: What am I, really?
After nearly half a century,
am I simply… a fool?
But then another voice inside me replies:
“You’re amazing just for being alive.
That alone is enough.”
So I hold onto that thought,
as I prepare to step into the world of numbers in October.
Protecting my body,
protecting my mind.
At the same time, I keep studying fortune-telling.
Numerology, palmistry—
I’m giving them my all.
But whenever I check my own aptitude,
the answer is always the same:
card reading fits me best.
And so,
two paths are moving forward at once:
The hyper-real world of “payroll” and “numbers,”
and the spiritual world of divination.
What will happen next?
Next month also marks
three years since my cancer diagnosis.
My doctor has scheduled a PET scan.
Perhaps the reason I try so many different things
is because, deep down,
I want to live as if I were ready to die at any moment.
That’s the truth.
And yet—
tomorrow I’ll still hope to wake up healthy.
And I wish the same for all of you.
🍀🍰
コメント