肉まんTonight.
Good evening!
(´∀`)☆
Today, I had one… no, two small steps forward.
…
Those steps were—
Today,
I finally stopped at two places
I had always just walked past before:
a steamed bun shop
a bakery
I bought one nikuman
and a loaf of naturally fermented bread.
(ノ・ω・)ノオオオォォォ– 🥐
There was a reason for this.
Because of money,
I had actually become very focused on buying
cheap bread from the supermarket—
the kind that costs around 100 yen.
Right now in Japan,
prices are really high.
Bread and rice balls aren’t cheap anymore.
And then one day,
after eating one of those inexpensive breads,
I started to feel unwell.
For a while, I felt awful.
At the same time,
I also couldn’t eat the meals at the dorm anymore.
They’re made for adult men—
big portions, filling food—
but my body had been used to meals
I cooked for myself for a long time.
Maybe there was something
that just didn’t suit me anymore.
This morning,
I had miso soup
and soft white bread,
and I felt a little better.
That’s when I thought—
Instead of choosing food just because it’s cheap,
I want to eat things
that I can afford
and that suit my body.
(★ ω ★) YES!
So I stopped by
the steamed bun shop I’d always been curious about,
bought one piping-hot nikuman,
then went to the bakery—
and by chance,
they had naturally fermented bread.
This is it!
(´;ω;`)❤
I bought it
and carried it home carefully.
When I got back,
I hugged the nikuman and the bread
and took a deep breath, smelling them.
The warmth.
The handmade scent.
The feeling of human hands.
Not something made by machines.
Something that felt like
life.
I stood there for a while,
holding the bun and the bread,
unable to move.
Then I poured some milk,
took the nikuman out of the bag,
and ate it—
and it was delicious…
(´Д`) 💕💕
So delicious
it felt like I’d forgotten
food could taste this good.
I’m so glad
I found the courage to buy it.
Nikuman, I love you.
Food, I love you.
Beloved food.
Truly.
Food really is life,
I thought.
Not just something
to fill your stomach—
but nourishment,
something that becomes your body,
your life.
Choosing it with your own feet,
your own head,
and realizing you chose right—
that matters.
…
I can stay in this dorm until March.
After that,
if I look for a new place,
I want one with a kitchen—
a place where I can cook for myself.
Today at work,
I felt very tired,
and very sad.
But in that moment,
suddenly,
I imagined the smell of dashi.
Simmered taro,
rolled omelet,
simmered pumpkin…
That nostalgic, simple taste
of broth, soy sauce, and sugar.
I keep a “manifestation notebook”
and write in it every day.
So I’ll add this wish to it:
A room with a kitchen.
(´∀`) YEAH!
I hope I find one…
a room.
Well—
I’m still being rejected by jobs,
and I’m getting close to twenty applications now.
When I think about what will happen,
I get sick at night,
and feel like increasing my medication.
But—
well,
They say being positive
attracts better things.
And today,
there was the warmth of nikuman,
the toasty scent of bread—
that kind of happiness.
So I’ll keep going
like this.
With that—
I hope I’ll be well again tomorrow,
and I hope you all stay well too.
(´∀`) 💝
XOXO

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